ok since i cant get back to sleep ...
i decide to blog
lol ...
what else to do in the middle of the night ...
quite occupied with thots , thats why ...what happened was just a casual talk , with no intentions .
didnt expect it to turn out this way .
like many have said this problem should have ended LONG AGO ...
nobody wants to be en-strangled any longer
sophie !! get over and get done with it
let it be bitter rotten sweet
not bitter rotten rotten-ed !!!
i totally hate it when it turned complex and sophie turned ugly
i have gotten sick of the whole episode and most of all myself
i hate my inabilities to allow it to turn out this way
i was trying hard ... maybe not hard enough ...
in this matter , i guess i the one who thinks the most ...
because i have to see it more than three ways
yet unable to come to a conclusion
in this episode i have the least say ...
i guess except from my part ...
i was wondering did i do enough to ensure it doesnt affect the friendship
i have been telling myself ...
been trying too ... i guess its just not enough
it turned out to be i hated myself more than anything
more than what has totally happened
i tried to be rational , keep cool and choose the correct path
i guess it all turn out to be wrong
everything so wrong ...
a wrong start , wrong assumptions and wrong presumed ending ...
i hold my friends dearly ... although most of the time i'm not good enough
i know its impossible to turn back the clock
if i could i would use my every last strength to stop it from happening
on my part ...
but that could no longer happen ... what has already happen has happened .
i dont know ... whether do i have the absolute resolution to solve this ...
or would i rather pretend that i dont remember a single thing ...
for one thats sure ... i no longer want to be rotten .
nobody wants to be hurt ... i guess no matter what we said ... we are all selfish in our part.
seriously , i dont know whats next or what to do next ...
just follow what my heart tells me ?
or what is assumed right ?
neither want to be a fool nor be part of the joke
Recorded; 2:32 AM
