It will soon be one month since year 2009. I know i'm kinda of quiet in my blog... i'm quite speechless nowadays. Year 2009, i have been trying yet not hard enough. If you realised i have change, yes ... its here and there. Looking forward CNY, February to be a better month and lots more reaching to my own set of rules and goals. However, i'm totally not looking forward to result day. Actually i dread it, results will shatter the peacefulness i have now and everything else. Who else to blame other than myself. Year 2008 has been the lousiest of all. I have been through lots of down periods and saw the ugliest side of myself. Nineteen years of life, i have been trying to be myself while pleasing everyone around. It seems i threw everything else away in 2008 in exchange for something that now i badly want to erase. Yet man aren’t like a computer, press a delete key and everything will be gone. Taking 2008 and people and stuff out of my life, has totally cause a big black hole within myself. It nearly swallowed me up, the emptiness i felt within and all the painful memories... i nearly gave up walking. Thanks to the people who stayed by me, i'm very grateful. Who is true to you, you do not have to see or hear, it can be felt. For those pretending to be, you know it at the very next second, you will be threw aside when you lose your usefulness to them. With the people who really cared for me, i'm putting it piece-by-piece back.